Had it last night @ the stbx’s house.

I was showing it to Desiree sitting on the sofa. Took it out to the car with me. I could have sworn that I brought it in & put it on my bed so I could lie in bed & work on it.

I didn’t work on it.

Wasted 2 hours on the internet instead.

Now can’t find it anywhere.

• Not on or in or under my bed.
• Not in the living room or bathroom or the chair in the corner I sit in to knit.
• Not on the end of the dining room table where I sometimes lay things that are coming IN to the house with me or need to go OUT of the house with me.
• Not in my tattoo bag (which was with me at the time)… I emptied it.
• Not in my leather tote bag that I sometimes put stuff in to work on while I’m out places… I emptied it too.
• Not in my oversized leather-jacket pockets.

These were crew-length house socks in worsted weight… one finished, one half-finished, and a ball of yarn almost an entire skein. Not exactly a small thing, easily unseen, to misplace.

Help.

Tony came & is working on drywall in my back porch someday-to-be-studio.

I’m filthy & needing a hot shower but it’s time to make dinner.

Doing drywall and insulation isn’t a great idea with new tattoos (him AND me).

I get by with a lotta help from my family.

Related: I am the Insulation and Drywall Queen

Also related: my porch is slowly turning into an actual room. This is a miracle.

The kids and I get money tomorrow. More precisely tonight at midnight.

As you may know we’ve been in Survival Mode for a couple weeks. Due to someone’s generosity, we made it through. Also this morning I put on a pair of jeans and found $12, which was direly needed for gas to get me to work and back today. So at this point we are needing groceries pretty badly.

Tomorrow morning I have to meet Tony partway to Oak Ridge (which is the opposite direction from what I need to go to get to work) to hand him off a car title and insurance check, which he’s going to drop off for me so I don’t have to drive all the way to Oak Ridge. Then I get to go to work and by the time I get home I’ll have been gone 12 hours.

Thursday morning I need to go to Paul’s Tires and Used Furniture and get a couple maypops for my car. Then I’m supposed to meet Des in Knoxville for a few minutes and then haul all the kids and myself to Gatlinburg for a day of more fun than we can handle again.

Friday I have to work again.

So far there is no room in this itinerary for going grocery shopping, unless I go after midnight tonight. We can’t really wait until Saturday to buy food.

So I guess I really didn’t need that much sleep tonight anyway.

Because I left work early today to come to Des’ house.

My kids were going with their dad tonight, and he’s keeping them overnight, because he can’t over the weekend, because two of the girls are going on a youth retreat.

Artemas isn’t going to his dad’s, but he has Jacob the Moron over.  By going to Des’ house I at least missed hours of the two of them sitting on the couch playing xbox.

Des’ two kids were sick and throwing up yesterday.  Today she was also sick and very weak.  Tony had to go to work at 2.

I remember never being able to lie down and be sick, because R didn’t help me the way Tony helps Des.  I know what it’s like to have sick younguns and be too weak to really take care of them.

So Miss A let me leave work and drive up here, where I did the dishes and made chicken and dumplings and watched Grandson play some Wii and talked to Des, such time as she’s felt like talking.  She was very weak when I got here.  Got to feeling better for a little minute, and now is feeling very bad again.

After Tony gets home, I’ll go home.

But for now I’m gonna go in the kitchen and make homemade caramel sauce and serve it over little tiny bowls of ice cream.

I need my closet bumped out like 3 feet.  I think the existing wall can be cut away and moved forward the 3 feet.  Then a small section of wall, might only be about 3’ wide will have to fill in the angle between where the corner of the closet is now and the new location of wall.  It’s a half-day job for someone who knows what they’re doing.

The only thing is, I don’t know what I’m doing.

And, I don’t know anybody who does know how to do it.  I’d be willing to barter a couple hundred dollar value tattoo.  I might be able to scrape up a hundred in tip money in a week or two to pay someone.  But neither one does me any good if I don’t know who to call to begin with.

In about an hour, when I get the loveseat in my room cleared of clean laundry, I’m gonna unload my closet and see if I can tell what the bones are like.  See if it’s something I can tackle.

However, my luck anything with a motor (electrical or otherwise, you know like perhaps including power tools) is not so great.  Right now:

• I own 3 cars that are not running.  The Venture has been sitting 20 months since the head gasket blew.  We replaced everything from there up and it won’t start.  The S10 has a blown engine.  The Infiniti has a bent rod.
• I own 3 motorcycles that aren’t running.  The 650 ran when I rode it last, in November, but I couldn’t get it to start a month ago, despite fresh gas and plenty of battery.  The 450 needs I think a new petcock assembly, which my oldest son said he ordered & got but I’ve never seen it.  The 250 had a bent triple tree, front fender, and front forks.  I got all the parts to put it back together and the cap is missing to the bearing race.  So it’s a basket case right now.
• My dishwasher broke down 7 months ago.  The x told me this week he came across a scratch-n-dent one he’d buy us but I haven’t seen it yet.
• A month ago my vacuum died.  I had to go buy an electric stick broom.
• My washing machine died this week.  New belt, no go. $24 down for this, the first week, at the laundromat, and even then not all the clothes got dry.
• My electronic scale in the bathroom, one of the legs came off, the one with the contact in it.  So it’s dead now too.
• And yesterday while I was at work, Josiah dropped the heavy glass pitcher from my Oster blender, into the crock pot, which although clean was somehow sitting on the floor instead of in the cupboard, and broke both the blender pitcher AND the huge 12-quart oval crock.

If I had about 3 grand my immediate troubles would be over.

Or at least $30 so I can see if I’m getting fat.

Oh my god, that man.

Except that I just had to retype the word “nervous” because I spelled it “nervice.”

I’m suddenly both sick to my stomach and braindead.

Go me.

rachelfabulous:

I’m really good at gluttony.  I can eat and spend to excess and feel no remorse until I look in the mirror or in the bank.

I’ve got to make changes.  I can’t afford this lifestyle.  Why waist can’t afford it. 

And here we go… right into the worst possible time to live. 

Food, feasts, shopping, sales, presents, cookies, candy, cake, sweet potatoes. 

Alcohol.  Xanax.  Family.  Food.  Eat eat eat.  It’s all around.  It’s all we do.

It’s so disgusting it makes me want to puke.  So that I have room to eat some more.

How can we get through this?  Ooh look, candy. 

Well at least I’m saved from spending to excess because I don’t have the funds for it OR any credit.  

But the eating… oy!

I dunno how to make a read more break from my phone so oh well (and guys, it doesn’t hurt to understand what’s going on with the women in your lives, either)

Apparently I’m finally beginning to have perimenopause symptoms. I’ll be 51 next month. I’m on my 2nd period this month.

I found a really good, informative and not-bullshit article this morning here.

It talks about the extra bleeding. Also explained why my breasts were more sore before my regular period earlier this month.

Because I’m more for natural cures and I am horrible at remembering to take pills, I’ll probably ask my practitioner about using progesterone creme and evening primrose oil pills on the pertinent days.

If this helps anybody else, I’m glad. If not, at least reading it gave me a lot of peace of mind.