Random weirdness from a tattoo-artist gun-toting biker-chick knitting foodie supernatural whovian with seven kids. Ecstatically married to slashingdashingwolf!
  • doctorwho
  • tymethiefslongerthoughts
  • green-circles
  • dougieplaysbanjo
  • tmistories
  • sarkastickunt
  • 10pointstojessie
  • vintagehomeca
  • iamjustcara
  • beautifulwick3dness
  • knitmecrazy
  • cellomakesmehappy
  • laughingsquid
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  • lifesam0untain
  • foodffs
  • tyria-chan
  • wildbeards
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  • myapologiesmarktwain
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  • phunnythewayitis
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  • reallybetsy
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  • theknittyditty
  • raaydawg
  • malformalady
  • thisisonetime
  • prettypurplepancake
  • cnbc
  • itsnowtimetofly
  • lostinmyowncontradictions
  • thenarglewrites
  • driftingfeline
  • thetroothandnothingbutthetruth
  • madtyper
  • bdgarp
  • merryapothecary
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  • averyadelicateflower
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  • discoveryzoneme
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  • clientsfromhell
  • theopenroad1978
  • maeganbobaegan
  • cranialgames
  • fuckyeahabandonedplaces
  • xwidep
  • daddynobucks
  • loveispomegranate
  • humansofnewyork
  • most-likely-me
  • kpwerker
  • jewlesthemagnificent
  • thulium
  • brambleandscoot
  • fuckyeahpie
  • fatassbigknits
  • iknitwithcatfur
  • santhonythomas
  • marijuana-mondays
  • earthwoolfire
  • shitmystudentswrite
  • holycrapyarnandstuff
  • miss-apple-pie
  • flamingokitty22
  • knittynattys
  • leviastiel
  • cosmicpurls
  • curiousercreature
  • theoriginalcreature
  • myladycrumrine
  • livenedup
  • hotdogsfortina
  • textsfromlastapocalpyse
  • andsoisyourface
  • thatbedroom
  • thisisjustmine4memine
  • stitcherywitchery
  • thefaultinour-hungergames
  • tattoome
  • knits-withallthecolorsofthewind
  • whatshewanted
  • makingyarn
  • heytharrkrista
  • apricotica
  • nary-a-yarn
  • aunatural
  • myalterknits
  • kizayfizabe
  • notwhatihadnmind
  • inbinniebon
  • stilltiedtothetracks
  • aguidetodeduction
  • destroyed-and-abandoned
  • paintchipsfromthewall
  • jennyjennywhocaniturnto
  • epic-humor
  • bakingbetty
  • assassinsinmoccasins
  • goat-on-the-ceiling
  • knotbygranma
  • weirdvintage
  • the-knitting-goddess
  • heckascootie
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  • sampleinajar
  • jcdesigns79
  • soulproprietorship
  • nikkidactyl
  • tattcitybitch
  • nonemorepink
  • fishingboatproceeds
  • lizaleigh
  • throw-tribbles-at-them
  • harleyburnedparadise
  • freckledfajita
  • gillsmarie
  • fancycwabs
  • walelafusihatchi
  • retrogasm
  • pandemiclaughter
  • rubycuts
  • theotherwaytoo15
  • papapanda420
  • fuckyeahgirlswithtattoos
  • wherearewedamfino
  • novemberbugg
  • tangledinwordsandyarn
  • the-chilean-aussie
  • thewordofgygy
  • passionknits
  • stuffonscoutshead
  • moobadoo
  • hereslookinatyoukid
  • urethrafranklyn
  • theerinpala
  • twicetheaveragerevenge
  • knittedbunny
  • judyschu
  • iamparalights
  • hereilay-justlikealways
  • humblebear
  • sam-winchester-cries-during-sex
  • unfuckyourhabitat
  • urkillingme94
  • okaysoufflegirl
  • whisperingwillowleaves
  • thefuuuucomics
  • jaydenw
  • burritos-fixeverything
  • tinyhousedesign
  • imonlyalittleblackraincloud
  • zombiesmouth
  • prettyknittygay
  • deliriumdecadence
  • reenskita
  • poopingwithatamponin
  • fivefindeathkoi
  • eapricott
  • mydrunkkitchen
  • kaonicks
  • alwaysreesey
  • a-slice-of-awesome
  • whatsername44
  • miikaprocrastinates
  • scarran
  • stitch-please
  • uhmmmyeahsurewhynot
  • allofthemaking
  • mintyfreshprincess
  • misenplace
  • cant-elope
  • yosoyleche
  • thehologram
  • mrgoodwrench1
  • parafractal
  • millerflintstone
  • thereluctantoptimist
  • internalrenovations
  • deadpresidents
  • tattoosandbeards
  • ajpondwilliams
  • bourbonismyspiritguide
  • notfreud
  • hookersorcake
  • southerngeekett
  • knitandstuff
  • gooozer
  • conflictedyetcomfortable
  • mynameesmuerte
  • shoejunkiez
  • jakubjennings
  • k8e1ibrary1ady
  • exceptionallyaustin
  • nerdy-knitting-german
  • woolysoft
  • thejohnblog
  • thatfriendlyblackguy
  • morethanjustamullet
  • tardisdress
  • anxietyfarm
  • simplygrizzly
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  • jackdogstar
  • casgotthebooty
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  • almost-cosmic
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  • angereatsme
  • stillaknucklehead
  • nicknameless
  • mborgomani
  • rachelfabulous
  • lifehackable
  • beck-a-leck
  • inkeddolls
  • weekendknitter
  • thefredasaurusrex

I am having a beer to wash thru my kidneys.

Hopefully wash out that dispicable kidney stone.

Maybe I’ll have four.

I think it’s Beer:53. Or maybe I should have a Cosmo or 3 since cranberry juice is so good for my kidneys?

So I talked to the Red-bearded Wonder

and now I feel less like crying but I still feel like a slug

and this beer is making me sleepy

which I guess is good, because I need some sleep

Tomorrow I get to try again on the portrait

and maybe not fail so badly

Random Late Thoughts, revisited

I let Diantha have a beer. She drank 2 oz. & said it wasn’t good getting warm. I poured it over ice. She said it tasted weird. Score an extra beer for Mom. And for teaching the 16yo that drinking isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

Betsy, who wasn’t sleepy, just lay down on my loveseat in my room and in no kidding, 6 seconds she was snoring.

If I have one more beer I might put my ass on tumblr.

Allen just called from Knoxville, said he broke the clutch cable on my bike. He can NOT ride my motorcycle any more. He’ll have to power-shift home. I don’t want him to leave my bike somewhere overnight. And I can’t go get him, I’m drinking.

That doesn’t seem like a bad idea. In fact I could name quite a few things that don’t seem like a bad idea at the moment.

I’m typing very well indeed for a person with 3 beers in them in the last hour. Good job.

Night adventures at the Ken-Jo

Diantha and I drove to Kroger. Allen says he can get home ok but the bike battery is shot, I need to trade it in for a new one, and that he has to work til 1 AM.

We drive back to town and stop at the KenJo. They have double-cans of Miller High Life Light for 2/239. Cheap, cheap.

Just as I start to go in the store, this girl goes in & says to me, “That tattoo on your thigh is KILLER.” Also just as I go in the doors, I realized I didn’t have my ID on me. Some stoner guy and his friend heard me say, “OMG I forgot my ID.” There are a couple clerks there who recognize me but the guy tonight was new.

He says, “What do you want? I’ll get it for you.” I said I only wanted 5 cans of Miller Lite. So I hand him money and head back for the cooler. I start taking out double cans… 5 of them… and he’s like, “Whoa.”

He says, that guy’s totally gonna catch on that I’m buying your beer. I’ll meet you at the car. Which car? Oh yeah the one sitting out there still running and with the lights on while Stoner Guy and His Buddy buy beer. Duh…

So Diantha and I go out, we’re standing on the sidewalk over near my car, waiting for the guys to come out, and two police officers drive up and park right in front of us. So we walk over to Stoner Guy’s car and casually lean on it like we’re totally with him and His Buddy.

Out of the store he comes, hands me this bag with 7 1/2 pounds of beer in it, and starts talking to me about my tattoo. They couldn’t believe I’ve done all that work myself. Stoner Guy has a tat on his arm he wants covered and embellished, quite a good sized piece. His Buddy tells me it must be hard to tattoo yourself (yeah, really?) and that it must be REALLY hard to do all that upside down. Well yeah, but if I did it right side up to me, what would that look like to everybody else?

So Stoner Guy says, I totally have to come down and see you at Integrity, but right now I have to get with these guys, they’re waiting for the beer.

So he leaves, we get in the car (police are in the building, whew) and leave. We get a mile from the store, at this T stop, and the car in front of the car in front of us is stopped and PARKED at the stop sign. Here comes Stoner Guy, hoofing it back to my car. He’s like, “Oh man are my cigarettes in that bag with your beer? I totally forgot them.”

I handed them out to him & assured him I wouldn’t have smoked them. He called back, “Oh, no, that’s ok, Y’all are good…” got in his car and drove off.

Right past my house.

Apparently I’m beginning to “expand my horizons” already. LOL!!

I can’t be a unicorn.

I don’t even own one.
Another something to add to the Bad Friggin’ Day List.
But I have beer.

I may have had a couple beers in the last 1/2 hour

so if my typing goes all to hell from here on out, I can’t be held responsible. ;o)

It’s totally medicinal because my left kidney is hurting. Really. Really.

Thursday thoughts, some of which may be TMI

Today I had to touch up a tattoo I made a mistake in. It wasn’t a HUGE mistake. There was a line of very small writing that was supposed to say Psalm 115:1. But I’d had to move the stencil just a little to the left and when I did, it left a shadow of the 1, which I then tattooed along with the rest so it read :11. I turned the extranneous 1 into a tiny little heart, colored it in blue to match the shading around the butterfly (already existing) that I’d done the scripture around, and TaDa! fixed. I think it actually looked better with the little heart there. But it doesn’t undo how embarrassed I was to have made a mistake.

However, I did a good job on Scotty’s feetprint/horseshoe tattoo, so there’s that.

3 tattoos in 30 hours leaves a lotta nerve exposed, which makes me a little skeevy. But that 30-oz pina colada last night probably fixed me.

My left kidney is hurting me so badly. That and the fact I’ve been peeing blood today probably means a fun next couple days in store.

But I have beer, and it’s nearly “kids’ bedtime.” So it’s a’ight.

Finally home.

After a little over 11 hours gone.

My first great act was to drop an olive oil carafe onto a crock pot. The olive oil carafe burst, flinging glass and olive oil all over my kitchen.

So after walking this morning and scrubbing 31 tattoo grips for sterilization and setting Miss Autumne up for 3 of her tattoos and doing 5 tattoos on people myself and being gone 11+ hours, I got to sweep my kitchen floor, wash the broom with Dawn dish soap, wash the floor with Dawn dish soap, and clean up glass.

I’m going to put the kids to bed.

Then have four beers a beer and maybe not even try maybe catch up with my tumblr dash.

I am not sorry about being alone with the internet on a Friday night. My friends are in here, and a couple more in my phone.

And tonight, that’s all the excitement I can take.

My new tattoo is hurting me.

It peeled this morning (normal) but ever since then has HURT and stung, like fire.

And I forgot to take ointment with me to work, so just had to use vaseline on it all day.

Which is not the same.

Three more beers and it won’t bother me.

It isn’t too early

for a beer I think.

Since the kids aren’t home, I’m not gonna cook.  Will have some of last night’s delicious soup later on.

Got my room cleaned up and my bathroom cleaned, though I didn’t scrub the floor or tub. Sue me.

As a matter of fact, I may have already begun celebrating beer-thirty. #2 has commenced.

We shall see what mettle of drunken knitter I am, methinks.

Prepare for drunk tumbling later.

Saturday Snippets

  • I wasn’t around last night because after tattooing, I had to stay late to do tubes.  In the hour after the shop closed, I had 2 beers and 2 shots of Wild Turkey 101 held under my tongue. Artemas had come to pick me up so that’s ok.  Then I realized I’d had nothing to eat all day except an egg & cheese biscuit.  So by the time I got home, I was, hm.  Buzzed?  I was able to lay on the bed without holding on, and had some taco salad before I wondered if lettuce in a drunk stomach was a good idea.  (It stayed, though.)
  • My ex asked me out on a date to go out to dinner.  This is not exactly what I had in mind.  I think it’s a “Win yer wife back, not have to eat your own cooking anymore” thing.
  • No.
  • Today I had a terrible headache but 4 ibuprofen, 2 Goody’s powders, a Mountain Dew, and a nice nap this afternoon took care of it.
  • Six is always bullshit.
  • It snowed half-assedly today.  I think the same 16 flakes just kept getting blown back through the yard.  It’s bloody cold and windy though. At least for us here in the South.
  • The kids and I did church tonight so we wouldn’t have to go out tomorrow.  Our preacher said, “What was Jesus’ first miracle?  He was at a party and they ran out of Boone’s Farm.  He made more!!”  How Southern.  Also, our pastor has a twisted world view, which is probably why I like him.
  • Today a friend was texting me about the merits or not, of my ass.  That was interesting.
  • And none of this stuff is even weird.

I’ve had 3 beers, and wanted to post something shocking.

So here it is.

(Photo via shutterstock.com )

Progress is good, right?

  • Finished painting, primer and color coat.
  • Hung shelving tracks.  Put brackets in, put shelves in. They’re .03 degree off level.  I’m leaving it.  My shoes won’t care, nor will they slide off the ends of the shelves.
  • Hanging the blue-blazes mother-smurfin’ door frame that the guy had originally shimmed the bloody hell out of is about to give me a stroke.
  • It might already be time for a beer.  I only have 3 beers left.
  • I think I need to toss every piece of clothing I own into the dryer for 10 minutes to suck the drywall dust off them.
  • I’m not sure there’s enough shampoo in this county to suck the drywall dust out of my hair, when I finally get a chance to shower, which is not now.

It might be a long night yet.