I think I’m a little overwhelmed. For several days I’ve been trying to pass a kidney stone. I’ve alternated between kidney colic, a headache that makes me want to die, and pain that makes me want to kill something.
During this time I’ve done all my normal activities, plus had 4 houseguests overnight and done 3 tattoos.
Tonight my head feels like it could explode.
Here’s a brutal truth. I’m not really a very sociable creature. I went to a tweetup last Fall, where I met ONE woman I hit it off with and who actually cared/cares I’m on the face of the earth. Mostly I got to watch a dozen almost-strangers get pretty drunk. Live-texting the evening with a friend of mine was more fun than being there, and I left early.
I’m expected to go to this jamboree for work, but I feel the same way about it as I did about the tweetup. Except that there will be 25x as many people there, it will be in the old-growth woods of the Smoky Mountains, in the dark, and I get to sleep in a tent.
The thought of doing this is just about making me sick to my stomach.
Bad Mom of the Year Award Alert - Here’s another shocker. Sometimes I am tired of parenting. I’ve been parenting 25 years and my youngest kid still at home is 4. By the time she leaves, I’ll have been parenting 40 years. That’s a career in anyone’s book.
The X wasn’t much help when he was here… the more kids we had, the more it was just MY job. And he’s not a lot of help now, though he’s been better to offer to take the kids since I talked to him about it last month.
Working the middle of the day (11 - 8) plus commute gives me only an hour or two each, morning and evening, with the kids. This is hard enough. But lately I think, there are some times when I wish I didn’t have to come home and check schoolwork and correct little people and manage nighttime chores and deal with attitudes and try to get kids to bed. I wish I could just come home, eat some toast, play on the computer and knit.
I am just on the brink of being able to finally earn a little money. I’m really good at managing money, budgeting, and getting by on very little. But living on a once-a-month dependent benefit for nearly a year now is kinda starting to wear on me.