Broke is better than dying.
Being broke isn’t any new thing to me. We’ve raised/are still raising 7 kids on 30K a year with no aid. But this time around I was really broke. Way. Broke.
An almost-stranger, without being asked, gave me $200. This is so much money to me. I seriously don’t spend a dime that doesn’t go to bills, gas, or food for me or the kids. If this generous person hadn’t been so kind, right now I would have $70 for gas & groceries until the 20th. And a week’s worth of gas for the car alone is $50.
I need a new pair of shoes. I have a pair of Shape-ups I’ve had for nearly a year. For at least 200 days in the last year I’ve walked 2.5 miles a day. These shoes are shot.
My car insurance renews next week. I have a tattoo convention to attend next week. I think the hotel is paid for by the shop but it’s a tank of gas to get there & back.
My X called tonight from New Jersey, where he’s visiting his brother. A year ago they diagnosed John with mesothelioma. His lungs were already filling with fluid. Two days ago he fell, sloughed a silver-dollar size piece of skin off his arm, and didn’t even bleed. He’s down to 118 pounds. He has about a month to live.
X said he’d cover the car insurance renewal. He didn’t give me any money for the trip I had to take to NY to take our son to college so I guess that’s fair.
And I’m thankful to the generous stranger.
And I’m not dying.
But I still can’t afford a pair of shoes.