Being broke isn’t any new thing to me. We’ve raised/are still raising 7 kids on 30K a year with no aid. But this time around I was really broke. Way. Broke.

An almost-stranger, without being asked, gave me $200. This is so much money to me. I seriously don’t spend a dime that doesn’t go to bills, gas, or food for me or the kids. If this generous person hadn’t been so kind, right now I would have $70 for gas & groceries until the 20th. And a week’s worth of gas for the car alone is $50.

I need a new pair of shoes. I have a pair of Shape-ups I’ve had for nearly a year. For at least 200 days in the last year I’ve walked 2.5 miles a day. These shoes are shot.

My car insurance renews next week. I have a tattoo convention to attend next week. I think the hotel is paid for by the shop but it’s a tank of gas to get there & back.

My X called tonight from New Jersey, where he’s visiting his brother. A year ago they diagnosed John with mesothelioma. His lungs were already filling with fluid. Two days ago he fell, sloughed a silver-dollar size piece of skin off his arm, and didn’t even bleed. He’s down to 118 pounds. He has about a month to live.

X said he’d cover the car insurance renewal. He didn’t give me any money for the trip I had to take to NY to take our son to college so I guess that’s fair.

And I’m thankful to the generous stranger.

And I’m not dying.

But I still can’t afford a pair of shoes.

I think I suddenly need my own copy of Where The Wild Things Are. The Red-bearded Wonder wants me to do a tattoo of Max on him when he comes down, and I need to guinea-pig it on someone else first too. I don’t want to ruin Des’ copy. I can get a like-new one off half.com but with shipping it’s $8, wondering if the local used-book warehouse would have a copy that cheap or cheaper.

I’m being slept and snored on by 4yo Betsy, who was not tired.

I talked to my x about spending some more time with the kids, especially vacation time. I told him that I realize I chose to be a single parent but not only do the kids need him sometimes, but I need a break sometimes. He said he doubts his brother will live til his NEXT vacation week so not like it’ll be a worry after this. Hunh.

I got new sneakers tonight, and was thinking about all the years I couldn’t get new sneakers when I needed them. In fact most of the years in FL I went barefoot or wore sandals or this one pair of slip-on leather shoes, that I had for like 8 years.

I also got a quart of white paint to touch up my bathroom ceiling and the kitchen chairs I’m sawing the backs off of to make stools. And stuff to change the oil in my car.

The x came by tonight & brought a container of eclairs, of which Diantha and I each ate one. I told him I added to my tattoo leg mural yesterday but he wasn’t interested.

Piker. ;o)

These are my $12 ho-shoes.  The heels actually had little diodes that lit up green, red, and blue until my then-2 yo broke them.

• We went and walked Walmart, buying cat food and Elixir of Life (this is Mountain Dew, for the woefully uninformed)
• I made several middle-aged or older Baptists uneasy with my tattoos. Good.
• Artemas informs me he has a major headache, thinks he’s getting sick and needs Nyquil, most likely effectively sticking me with the rest of the dishes.  But he’s listening to Robin Williams at top volume. Huh.
• I need to scrub my bathroom today and make soap.  I can get in 3 batches.
• I have to start a new travel fund for Wolf retrieval for Easter.  It would be nice if I had one of my own cars running by then, too.
• Betsy is sitting on me, *braiding my hair. *pulling
• Might go out for Nyquil for Artemas, it’ll give me an excuse to stop in Kohl’s and see if they have any cute tops for Easter that will go with a skirt I own and these shoes.

Take your pick. (Ladies, I didn’t pay more than $12 for any of these [bonus!])

Shoes, no. Pants, no.

(Source: idekdee)