Random weirdness from a tattoo-artist gun-toting biker-chick knitting foodie supernatural whovian with seven kids. Ecstatically married to slashingdashingwolf!
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Note to self

naimhe:

Always try to remember that other people have baggage just like you, only different baggage. That even when someone appears to be insensitive or uncompromising or without empathy, it’s very likely a reaction to some trigger of their own insecurities and not really much to do with you.

You chose the people in your life because they have qualities you like so when they’re acting like nimrods, there’s probably a reason and that reason isn’t necessarily related to you and even if it is, eventually it will come out to be rectified.

Other people have the same feelings you do although they may not express them in the same way or as well as you might. They may stick their foot in it. They may say exactly what they didn’t want to say because they just don’t have the vocabulary. They may regret the way things come out and in an attempt to not hurt you further, will clam up and not be able to express their hurt at all unless you help.

And just because someone might not always be gentle with you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be gentle with them. Perhaps their wounds are deeper and less healed. Maybe they feel helpless to solve a problem; maybe they feel helpless to comfort you and because of that shut down a little and appear to not care when in reality, they care so deeply that it’s hurting them.

Remember these things and be kind. Because your kindness isn’t going to hurt you and may very well help those you care about.

OMG. This.

Day is done, thank God for small favors.

I disappeared a minute because I was ripping out a piece of drywall in my bathroom so I could put in new light fixtures.  What I found was another layer of drywall.  Behind that, studs with small 1x2 non-studs attached to the sides of them, that don’t run the whole height of the wall.  

I’m going to have to get mount bars for the fixtures in order to make them an equal distance from the sink and mirror. The sink is mounted 2” off center from how the studs line up, to the right.  And the old light fixture above the sink is mounted 2.5” off center from the sink, to the left.

And, I’m dealing with some personal things in my life, that I don’t write about here.  Having to watch somebody I love make stupid choices and just watch the trainwreck without being able to say a word, because they don’t want to know what’s coming.  That’s hard.

I know everybody thinks I’m Wonder Woman and can just deflect bullets but the truth is, sometimes they wound me, and that’s how I feel right now.

Kidney still hurting, too.  And too tired to cope with my life tonight.

Truthful Tuesday, so?

  • Sometimes I’m in a lot of pain.  I live in it.  I function in it.  But if I’m a little tired or cranky, maybe it’s because I’m on Day 6 of a kidney stone.  Just be nice to me, ok?
  • Wow I remember having to say those same words a lot when I was married.  A person shouldn’t have to ask their spouse to be nice to them.
  • I might still have a little bitterness over that.
  • Sometimes I feel like I’m walking wounded.  I don’t know if I can take another blow.  I don’t know if I can stay on the path, or even stay standing.  
  • Lately I’ve had new blows landed.  I’m still reeling from one.  Gimme a minute.
  • A friend of mine says I should make sleep a priority.  I can sleep when I’m dead.
  • Stop telling me I deserve (good things, better things, etc). Why should I deserve better?  Did I earn some Cosmic Good Doobie Award? Obviously it isn’t so.
  • Someone told me he felt bad, because he can’t love me.  I told him can’t is the wrong verb.  Wouldn’t is the correct one.  Ultimately that’s his decision and my rejection.
  • I do want somebody to love me.  Just nobody will.
  • And I thought this was the Volunteer State.
You don’t need another human being to make your life complete, but let’s be honest. Having your wounds kissed by someone who doesn’t see them as disasters in your soul but cracks to put their love into is the most calming thing in this world.
Emery Allen  (via kisuuu)

(Source: wethinkwedream)

Realizing the problem is the first step toward healing.